Tuesday, March 13, 2007

More Letters of Wisdom....3/16


O is for Organization

This Organization is near desperation.
We're fighting inflation and new legislation.
Our profit quotation has bad aberrations,
And sales in the nation need much orchestration.
Our labor relations have caused indignation,
And plant operation needs much maturation.
Our anticipation is now resignation,
And all innovation has turned to stagnation.
Oh, what's the salvation for our situation?
I have inspiration! REORGANIZATION!

L is for Leadership
The CEO's and Presidents, directors and the bosses
....Are here to lead the company and minimize its losses.
They get the bucks and bonuses and other perks galore,
....To sit in comfy chairs and crank out memos by the score.
And if, by chance, they lose their jobs, their Golden Parachute
....Ensures they'll make an exit with a monstrous load of loot.
Though some aspire to "leadership," I'll call a spade a spade:
....I'd rather work an honest job and earn each cent I'm paid.

P is for Paradigm Shift
Knizley had a paradigm, if you can get my drift,
And every time things got too slow, that paradigm would shift.
It shifted on the nurses, the techs and such.
It shifted left, it shifted right, and all without a clutch.
It made the President rejoice, for each new paradigm
Meant he could use that buzzword in a memo one more time.

R is for Responsibility
When a new vice-president is put in charge of you and me,
....They send a memo naming his responsibility.
And when his business plan goes "plop," and people curse his name,
....Responsibility goes "poof" --subordinates get the blame.

M is for Manager
This guy couldn't engineer a tack out of its hole in the wall.
He answered the phones in Customer Help and he fouled up every call.
We tried him in sales and he couldn't sell, no, not a single cent,
So where can he go? That's it--I know! We'll put him in Management!

C is for Customer
A Customer! Oh, what a wonderful thing!
....The thought of a Customer makes my heart sing!
To get all His business, we'll do anything--
....We'll bow down before Him and then kiss His ring.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Marx Brothers did some hilarious movies back in the 1930s. In one of them (Duck Soup, I believe), Groucho played the part of Rufus T. Firefly, the new President of Freedonia. At his inaguration, he sang (Groucho sing? Well, sort of, but work with me here) a song covering how he was going to run things now that he was in charge.

One line went like this:

"The last fellow here who had this job/He didn't know what to do with it/If you think this country's screwed up now, just wait 'til I get through with it".

Substitute "country" with "hospital", and you'd get the current state of affairs. Only in real life, it ain't as funny somehow.......